On the eve of February 29, 2024, a friend and I stumbled upon a relic of the past of monumental proportions. An archaeological finding of never-before-seen quality, volume, and sheer authenticity.

Before you are images that have lain dormant for decades, now seen once more. Enter:

Babynha2000: The Girl Who Pre-Invented Instagram.

"Babynha2000" - Self Portrait

A total of 158 PNGs, JPGs, and GIFs were scraped from the archives. (Yes, plural.) Thanks to a myriad of broken links and corrupted files lost to the corrosion of time, I estimate we lost about as much as we found. Although I have personally encountered GeoCities archives featuring pictures of the creator and their friends, archives I’d love to delve into in future posts, I’ve never found anything close to this order of magnitude. This type of narcissistic self-absorption is often associated with social media, yet predates it by over a decade. In this blog post, I will do my best to examine Babynha2000’s behavior and highlight some of the photos I consider to have higher aesthetic value, in hopes of preserving them.

In the words of Babynha2000 herself: "Clique em qualquer foto abaixo para vê-la em seu tamanho original." (Click on any photo below to see it in its original size.)

Besides pictures, Babynha2000 frequented the usage of GIFs commonly associated with the early 2000s. I decided to include those as well as her custom background for added immersion.

The website’s main page consists of trivia about our heroine, where she tells us a little about herself. And by a little, I mean, well, she doesn’t leave much to the imagination. She starts by telling us she’s originally from the Brazilian city of Curitiba but resides in Boston, Massachusetts, at that time. She also tells us she’s married to Marcos and has two children, whose pictures I will not be posting here. (Even I have my limits.)

Her hobbies include going out, dancing, drinking (just a little), skating, going to the gym, and shopping. “…ah…you know what women like…lol” - according to Babynha2000.

She also states that she uses the internet mainly for chatting with others, but also for viewing photos and meeting new friends, whom she held in the highest regard, as we can understand from the following quote of hers:

“A true virtual friend is better than a friend who doesn’t know the true meaning of the word friendship.” - Babynha2000

Babynha then proceeds to voice a quick “observation” (observaçãozinha) she has noticed: “Many people (usually men, lol) start by saying hi, we chat, we exchange photos, so far so good, but then they ask if I’m married, I say yes, they say: got to go, bye! Just a message for these people: I’m married, okay? And if this bothers you, leave me alone, because I just want friendship, NOTHING ELSE!!!!”

I guess some things never change. I want to take a quick moment to shout out all the female netizens of the world wide web out there, friend-zoning men since the late ’90s.

Please direct your attention towards the custom "Babynha2000" merchandise tube top.
Pay attention to the framed picture of non other but herself on the wall. Can't make this s$#% up.

Fotos de Amigos / Photos of Friends

Babynha2000 also devoted a significant portion of her website to commemorating her friends and relatives, with multiple pages dedicated to each group. A large chunk of this content is now completely offline.

One of the pages Babynha2000 dedicated to her friends—Out of the 32 images, only 2 were salvageable. Take note of the nightmare fuel that is the GIF (provided below) and the background, which was a bajillion gifs of rain drops in a puddle.
Albert (albert10)
Andrinho (andrinho19)
Danilo (dinho)
DJ Fabios (djfabios)
Doug Matusquela (tongratis)
Renatinho (tcheguri82)
Rodrigo (rod1)
Richard (starion2)
Moyses (moyses2)
Manu (manu)
Jizar (jizar) - Absolutely dripped tf out.
Guiguinho (guiguinho2)
Kekezynha (kekezinha)—perhaps the most aesthetically pleasing of her friends' photos. The bleak sky, not too dissimilar from the moon landing pictures, the white limo, the guys' expressions in the limo, the stunning Kekezinha herself. My friend had told me he sees nothing special about this photo—I told him he is wrong.


A curious entry: Mr. Manhosodanet before and after the passing of 20 years:

"manhosodanet"
"manhosodanet20yslater" - The picture is originally sideways, kept like that for the sake of authenticity. Also funny asf.

The Cláudio Heinrich Saga

On one fateful 26th of January, sometime in the late ’90s, our faithful heroine went to a restaurant with her husband(?) and their two kids. During this very outing, she happened to spot one of her idols—the famed Cláudio Heinrich himself, a Brazilian actor turned BJJ instructor.

"Babynha on that fateful day, with a filter assumingly achieved by exposing the picture to radiation."
THE Cláudio Heinrich


Swept away by desire, she took a few candid pictures of Mr. Cláudio. I guess we have a few things in common, her and I.


After the initial shock, she decided to approach the star and ask him for some pictures. And by “some,” I mean like eight. What can I say? The girl knows how to get her way. Here are some of the pictures:

Cláudio and Babynha. Look at how happy she is. c:
Another picture under the veil of darkness, perhaps to hide the cheeky peck on the cheek, so as to avoid an overly jealous husband.
Babynha: "And now a picture by yourself!" Cláudio: "O...Okay...?"


A Closing Statement - A Window to Another Time

You’ve reached the current end of the first GeoCities Digital Archeology blog post, and what a grand opening it is. I don’t reckon the following ones will be as vast in magnitude as this one, but you never know.
Today, we took a look at the fascinating relics of Babynha2000’s internet footprint—or what remains of it, anyway. Might I add, this is a very curated collection, as I decided to leave out any pictures of her family, as they felt a bit too personal to share with the world, especially those with kids. You’ll have to take my word for it when I say they were very endearing.
When we first discovered this “dig,” we tried to follow the loose ends and figure out where this mysterious personality ended up. I found one potential lead and decided to stop there. That is not what this project is all about. This project is all about applying curiosity-driven archeology to this new and ever-changing world of the internet, for the sake of history and the artistic venture within it. As for the people involved, their privacy should be respected.
Given Babynha’s writings, pictures, and overall presence, it would be no exaggeration to dub her the mother of all social media.
You reading this means the world to me. I hope you enjoyed it, whoever you are. You may always reach out to me for whatever purpose. Here’s to many more!